Tip 1: Don’t move too fast
For a lot of women (and men!), online dating is perceived as risky even under the best of circumstances, which naturally raises their anxiety levels. Before going on the actual date, what worked for me was spending lots of time talking to her on WhatsApp and phone calls, which made her feel more comfortable meeting me in person
– Jonathan, 38
Tip 2: Be in control
From previous experience, unless you are going on a date with a woman with an incredibly strong alpha-type personality, women usually like it if you take control. Have the date fully planned (with some room for spontaneous fun, of course) and always send her home!
– Timothy, 40
Tip 3: Call to confirm
I have a lot of female friends, and one of the things they’ve told me is that they hate not knowing if the date is definitely going to happen, because unlike us, they need more time to get ready. Ever since then, I’ve always made a point to confirm the date the night before so she has at least 24 hours to do whatever she needs to do.
– Alan, 35
Tip 4: Make an effort with your appearance
Yes, looks aren’t everything, but if that held true, then why don’t you go to your meetings in yesterday’s rumpled clothing? Appearances, particularly first appearances, count for a lot, so make an effort with your hair, grooming and clothes. Looking polished certainly won’t hurt your chances, and it also speaks volume about your self-respect.
– Jim, 38
Tip 5: Don’t forget your manners
As you hope she won’t forget hers, basic manners like opening the door for her, not checking your phone every 10 minutes and being polite to the wait staff count for a lot on a date. Like wise for not talking over her, and not spending the entire evening talking about yourself! Be a gentlemen, and don’t forget that she is someone’s mom, sister or daughter. Treat her like how would expect other guys to treat your family.
– Erik, 45
Tip 6: Never talk about the ex
If you’re still hurting so much that you feel a need to treat your date like your therapist, then perhaps you’re not ready to date yet! No one wants to hear about their date’s ex, especially on the first few dates. Just as how you don’t want hear about the last guy who broke her heart, she doesn’t need to know all your dirty laundry right off the bat. Keep that for when you guys start seeing each other seriously.
– Thomas, 39
Tip 7: Skip the fine dining
In my opinion, a good place for a date would be a casual restaurant that serves good food and drinks. Fine dining places might appear more “impressive”, but if it’s your first few times meeting her, these places can feel intimidating and awkward. Dating should be fun and not stuffy! Unless she’s really into these sorts of situations, keep it light hearted and spare both of you the pain of being stuck at an 8-course tasting dinner if you end up not liking each other.
– Sanjeev, 39
Tip 8: Have a handful of lighthearted questions ready
In the event you and your date don’t click immediately, I always like to have a couple of “standby” questions to fill any awkward silences and possibly initiate a more impassioned conversation. They don’t need to be extremely witty or intelligent, something that invites a dialogue like “where is the most interesting place you’ve been” or “what’s the most useless skill you have” works. Just make sure it isn’t a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ type question!
– Francois, 38
Tip 9: Be complimentary
No one has anything against compliments, do they? A simple “you look lovely” or “that’s a nice bag” definitely will score you some brownie points. Your date likely took the effort to dress up for you, and it won’t hurt to let her know that you appreciate it!
– L.J, 40
Tip 10: Offer to pay
This is probably debatable, but in my opinion, I think it sends a good message by offering to pay first. Either she offers to split the check or not – it doesn’t really matter that much if it’s just a bill of a hundred dollars right? If you end up seeing each other more frequently, then bring it up in conversation if she expects you to pay all the time. Until then, relax.
– Elliot, 45
Tip 11: Respect her space
Basic respect aside, she is definitely not going to be into you if you’re pawing her at every chance you get. Yes, physical contact is important, but no woman (or men, for that matter) wants to be groped by a near stranger. If you think you’re showing her that you “want” her, I can tell you for a fact you’re just coming across as a jerk. Gently touching her back, giving her your arm as support or a hugging at the end of the evening is fine.
– Tony, 44
Tip 12: Please don’t binge drink
Not only will you come across as an alcoholic, but if you’re especially bad with liquor, you might even say or do something you will end up regretting the next day, which is not what you want if you find you really like her. I get it, dates are nerve wrecking but that’s no excuse to get completely wasted. Take it slow, pace yourself and have food between drinks.
– Alex, 35
Tip 13: Don’t brag
I don’t like it when women brag about themselves, so I imagine the same must hold true for them! Especially on the first few dates, just keep it simple and about you guys. There are other ways to impress her (like with your wit and charm, maybe) instead of talking about the 10 Rolexes you own or that super expensive suit the dry cleaner ruined.
– Mack, 35
Tip 14: Make sure she gets home safe
Not to say that women are weak creatures in need of our protection, but everyone likes knowing they are cared for, right? If you don’t send her home (and you don’t have to), at least call her a cab and wait with her until she leaves. It won’t hurt to send her a text to make sure she got home safe either!
– Vijay, 39
Tip 15: Follow up the next day
The whole 3-day waiting game is ridiculous. I don’t think she will be feeling the “thrill of the chase” as much as she’d be fretting that she did or said something to turn you off. If you genuinely like her, and the evening went well, why play games? You don’t need to meet the next day for the second date – just send her a text or a quick phone call to let her know you’d like to see her again and take it from there.
– Muhammed A, 41